A Short but Sweet Roundup

Evening Me Droogs and Droogettes!
Not tryna dodge y’all but today purely pissed me off.
Wifey had a BIG gig over in Orlando.  BIG money.  Costume Contest. Not only does she do Briadal Hair and Makeup, she’s also madly talented with the whole ‘horrorshow’ Droog level combat Zombie Makeup.

Yeah, that’s Sapper.. with MASSIVE head wound trauma.

Don’t tell me my bitch don’t know her makeup ability Aye?
So yeah, instead of me making the Range with Sapper, we ended up Babysitting the Labradorus Rex.
As far as that makeup tho?
She even embedded some 5.56mm spent shell casings “because when he got shot in the head and died, he might have landed in a pile of spent brass!”
Me we all have the blessing of dying in such a noble way.
Needless to say, her clients won the contest(s). 
How could they NOT?
In fact, that same night she did up Sapper, she did me up too.  Problem:  She gave me a Huuuuuge head wound.  Lotsa blood, looked great, entry wound, big exit wound… lots of latex, fake blood and all the shytte that goes into it.
Problem:  End of night.  
Got home… hadda shower…
Started washing it out and straight the fuck up started a full on PTSD flashback.
Like curled in the corner of the shower, shivering.
Took a bot of ‘after action’ to figger out WHAT happened, because I purely went to the “Zoo”.
“Thank you for talking to Big Country, he’s in the middle of an existentialist meltdown, please leave your name, number and time to call back, and he’ll get back to you when the snakes and lizards mellow out in his cortex!” >BEEP<
Didn’t realize it, but what it was was, well, no two ways about it, I was in Baghdad as we ALL are aware… there was a HUGE bombing in the souk in the Green Zone in Mid 04?  Can’t remember… all I remember was one minute I was mister Happy Go Lucky walking ’round, digging the DVDs of brand new flicks in the theater in the states, and the next?
Huge explosion… 27+/- Dead.  And I got caught in the ‘tidal wave’ of guts, brains, blood and bullshit.  Having the viscera of like 20 + people bown all over you like standing downwind of a particularly pissed off wood chipped in not something I’d recommend. 
So when I was showering off, the feel, the texture of the latex and all.. the color of the fake blood?
Yeah… INSTANT full-on flashback with all the frills.
Seriously… fucked me up HARD.

After that souk bombing I was picking brains and bullshit outta my hair for –days- after the fact…

So… yeah, she’s good… damned good.  And on that note, I gotta keep it short… I was supposed to go to the range today but ‘issues’ (wifey’s fault) and I’m tired… been ranting and railing so hard, I feel like Don Quixote and his windmills… but as far as ALL the bullshit that we’ve seen vis-a-vis the Bidens… and I mean ALL them fucks?

Sounds good to me… more tomorrow.  I Remain The Intrepid Reporter

Big Country

By BigCountryExpat

Fuck you if you can't take a joke. No one gets out alive so eat me.

1 comment

  1. Good thoughts to you, there was a lot of ugly in those several years. Don't worry about the windmills, they will fall down on their own, at the rate events are accelerating. Congrats for the contest.

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