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Greetings Me Droogs N Droogettes!

Ever notice how this new chick Jen PissAye never actually answers a question?  Bitch just drones on and on and on and on…and never actually gets there.  She’s horrible.  BUT there is humor to be found in it…

Yeah.Just like that.Remind you of anyone?

Yep… Ole “Crazyeyes” Jen.

Great Movie.  In Iraq when we were running around doin’ “the dirty” i.e. looting and stealing anything not nailed down at the behest of our Master, a crusty Chief Warrant 5… yeah, the Mythical CWO5… he was our boss… when he said “Country, I need lumber.”  We got lumber… He didn’t give a shit about where or how we got lumber, but dammit, git ‘er dun, and “…don’t get caught!”

Sooooo, to avoid issues of being I.D.’d positively when we did did “the dirty”, we got one of those lil label printers.  We figured out the font and size of the name area on Ye Olde Common Access Card and printer up a new Nom De Plume… In my case I went with “Austin Millbarge”, as a hat-tip to a great movie.  My bro-at-the-time Lil Country used “Emmet Fitzhume”.  We carried our I.D.s like everyone else, in a strapped on around the upper arm carrier, or in a card carrier around the neck.  Generally, being an American, and just showing it was good enough.  The sticker couldn’t withstand close-close scrutiny, but through a plexi-plastic window?  Good enough for DotGovMil work.

Only had one particularly astute E-6 in the entire time who read the names and started howling.  Dude was in stitches.  Apparently he too was a HUGE fan of ‘Spies Like Us’ and recognized the name(s). 

Now, as far as “CrazyEyes” PissAye…

Queue up Willum Shatner
“Those…eyes…they’re… just…not right Spock!!!”

As the Critical Drinker would say

‘AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!”

Cray-Cray Eyes.Bigs Rule of “Spotting Teh Crazy Wimmez” is the eyes.

Windows to the Soul Aye?

Willum at Black Poison Soul has talked aboot this for years. 

The dead-shark eyes of the “Thousand Cock Stare”  The eyes, if you can see over 3/4 of the entire -pupillary- area, then 10-1, you’re dealing with a nutter.  And in her case, she’s got all of the classic signs.  Nevermind the personality issues which are pure Red Flags

Dead Shark-like Stare

3/4 Pupils showing, indicating Bugeyed Feminine Madness

An inability to do any ‘straight talk’

Aversion to the truth

Annnnnnnnnnd a face that sez that if she took Top Popp’s dickstacking contest, she’d spatter like a bug on the windshield of a Buck doing 60.  To those of you not familiar with Terrance Popp, he’s the guy doing redonkulas.com.  He’s blackpilled like a motherfucker and I’ve mentioned him previously… His “Dickstacking Theorem” is that if you take the number of dicks that a female has taken into her “hot pocket o’love” and stacked them up inch-wise, with an average of 6 inches, what would happen if she fell from whatever height it added up to?  The dreaded “Thousand Cock Stare” would have a chick fall 500 FEET

Nice huh?

She also seems genuinely stupid.  Unable to do ‘off the cuff’… easily thrown off the track.  And this by a Ministry of Propaganda that practically verbally fellates her for ever time she gets on stage.  She’s a stupid sock puppet.  A cum-sock-puppet if you will.

So, so much for that part of the rant… mebbe we’ll ‘circle back later’

Heh

So, I greatly appreciate all y’all taking the time to offer your suggestions vis-a-vis the RV.  Think’n I’ma try that “rent one for size” and see where that gets me.  I mean I have to do –everything- like that because the rest of you Damned Dirty Apes and Stinking Puny Hoo-mons are so small and dainty compared to the Dump Truck I am.

I gotta lose some more weight. 

Bad enough I’m at 340.  My doc sez I need to be at 300.  And yeah.  300.  My bone density charts completely off the scale.  Literally double ‘normal’ of reg’ler folks.  Nevermind a 23.75 inch neck… which BTW when I -have- lost the weight in times past, stays the same.  That’s all muscle.  If anything I have to be very careful in working out my upper back/shoulders and neck as its a stone bitch to find dress shirts in my size.  Big N Tall dress shirts start at like $75 a throw, and thats the cheap ones.

Thank GOD I work from home from here on oot.

It’s a dealio and a half.  I get to sit in my sweats and t-shirt, comfy as all get out, with my shoulder rig and 9mm on, (getting re-used to the feeling) and being able to use my 15 minute breaks to walk the Doggo, or, as I love to do in the morning break, take a hot shower.

Luxury Aye.

So… More Later I Remain The Intrepid Reporter

Big Country

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By BigCountryExpat

Fuck you if you can't take a joke. No one gets out alive so eat me.

4 comments

  1. I’ve been a fan of Redonkulas since 2014, but I think the dickstacking exercise came from Chateau Heartiste. You can still find him on gab at @Heartiste, and there’s archives of his blog posts at heartiste.org. I miss his blog and really wish he’d find a platform to start writing again.

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