Good Afternoon My Droogs! Apologies most Profound and Prolific for my unexcused absence(s). The Olde Intrepid Reporter and the others here at Big Country’s Home for Wayward Veterans have been running a bit amuck. Lotsa appointments, getting shit handled… Had to go to the VA this morning, and then met with a dude about getting my disability adjusted.
Went well. I should hear back from the V.A. by 2032…
So todays topic: The realization that a beloved childrens show is actually a monstrous show combining the –worst- in human nature. Specifically Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer.
It was on last night… and me and the Ole Lady cuddled up on the couch… for about 1/2 of the show. We, without realizing it, started getting upset with how dickish all these motherfuckers were towards Lil Rudolph. (Only him mind you… That Lil Bastard Hermey? More on that prick in a bit) So, now today it’s being mentioned on a couple of locations on the web talking about how Rudolph is “Bully” Culture run mad…
I’m inclined to agree. I found myself realizing that Santa is a complete and total dick. I mean the worst kind of asshole imaginable. The kind of dude, who if he were my boss, I’d tell to get fucked.
“Bad Reindeer! Bad Bad bad!!!”
I mean Wow. Donner has his first kid, Rudolph. Santa, the bossman, he comes out, essentially looks at Donners newborn son, and tells him that the kid is fucked up what with the glowing nose. Then, embarrassed, Donner pulls some shady shit to hide the fact that his kids is a fuckin mutant. After Donner’s cover up is discovered, Santa’s reaction is alllll about and encouraging putting down the little reindeer… doesn’t matter that the kid has more talent in his antler than the rest of them combined… no, the kid is different and therefore to be bullied and shit on…to the point where the Adult, Comet the Coach, encourages the other kids to fucking shun Rudolph! I mean thats fucking horrid man…
Hell, at one point, the elves are doing a “Santa Song” or some shit, and Santa himmself is sitting there, acting all bored, and disgruntled, and finally leaves throwing some insults at the elves about improving, when in fact they’ve been busting their asses to practice. Missus Claus has to actually make excuses and apologies to the elves for her husband because he’s such a rotten fucking prick.
Now, to another ‘supposed’ victim here. That Little Bastard Hermey.
It’s got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll’s eyes. When it comes at you it doesn’t seem to be livin’… until he bites you…
Picked on for wanting to be a dentist? OK… shit happens… However, as the show progresses, he’s faaar from the sympathetic character they want to portray. He’s a fucking sadist right up there on the lines of Doctor Mengele. If taken as such that all the elves, the Island of Misfit Toys, and all the creatures at the North Pole are at nominal war with the Abominable Snowman, also known as “The Bumble”, then after Yukon Cornelius knocks his ass out, the Bumble would be considered a Prisoner of War maybe? (I know I know. I’m stretching it, but c’mon… humor me y’all)
So here’s the poor bastard of a Bumble, just got his ass kicked by a badass Canadian Operator, and taken prisoner. While he’s unconscious, this short, sadistic fucker named Hermey, with no formal medical training whatsoever comes up, and without pain meds or any decent justification, rips all the poor Bastard Bumble’s teeth out!!!!
Sick Lil Fuck is proud, ain’t he?
I mean what sort of message was/is this sending? I’ma beginning to have a scratching at the back o’me braincase that shows that some of our “Pop Culture” from back then ain’t as cool as we may have remembered… Except the true Hero of the Story:
-Operator As Fuck-
Epic Beard: Check
Epic ‘Stach: Check
Custom Stainless .45 Revolver: Check
Custom Belt Knife (Bowie style): Check
Hammer for taking out sentries quietly?: Check
When confronting the Bumble, uses his pickax in Hand-to-Hand Combatives, rather than using his pistol? Fuckin’ Aye Check.
Most Badass Operator EVER LOL.
More later… time to make/eat lunch. Thinking of going out to eat with the Ole Lady. Til then I remain, the Intrepid Reporter