Did I mention? Top. Men.

Evening me Droogs n Droogettes

In this case, the prize of the “Retard of the Week” goes to the State Department…
Apparently they fucked up…  They stuffed all the CoronaChan Infected from the Love Boat onto the same plane as the one who hadn’t been exposed/infected yet.

Go  Team!

So, now instead of 11 sick, they got 35… and climbing.

Buuuuuuuuuut
Since everyone is now scattered, we’re not going to get any updates ‘cept what we know about the folks here in the States.  So we got that going for us at least.  So onto the dinner we went to…
Me and the Ole Lady hit a small local place called “Shrimp Boat” or some such.  We got there plenty early as going out for dinner here in Florida, you either hit it waaay late or waay early… otherwise it’s a “Wait in line for an hour, get table… waitstaff practically throw the food at you, deliver the check and glare at you like “When the fuck you leaving man?”  Not my favorite gig.  So we’ve developed a new way…. we go as part of the early crew, and skip breakfast and lunch so that an early BIG dinner goes down well.  Also, by going early, we don’t miss out on the specials of the night.  God knows the elderly here in F-L-A –De-Fuckin-Molish- the specials before the regular folks get there.  Olkd folks going out to dinner here in Florida are like that Locust Swarm in Apefrica I swear…

The grub was tolerable.  Went down ok… the french fries were fucking lame, but this place I could tell was “Fro-Frou” and wouldn’t know a properly cooked fry if’n their lives depended on it.  I had the fried Jumbo Shrimp, which were actually jumbo, and a thing called Escalloped Seafood… not bad… I shouldn’t’ve salted it tho… was already salty enough.  3 Cheeses with scallops, shrimp and crabmeat with bacon all swirled together and baked.  Very tasty… gonna have to try it meselfs here at the Casa.

It was her treat as we didn’t A) do Valentines Day and B) She’s been making all the cash lately.

MY part of “Date Night” was the pedicures.  Yeah Yeah Yeah… talk all the shit you want.  Only a fuckin idiot would NOT do a ‘pedicure’ “because thats for giiiiirls.” 

Uh. No, it ain’t.  I wish I had known about these things back when I was in the Infantry… especially after a field problem.  I -had- discovered Spas and getting a mud-facial deep cleansing after a field problem tho… dudes in my unit thought I was fucking blinkered for doing so, but then again, I was coming right out of the field like them, and -I- didn’t look like it.  My skin was clean (no camo makeup in the ears still… no grody pores filled with dirt… Nope… my grill and skin was positively GLOWING.

Hence why I had banged, at last count 300 + women, (at that particular time… I’ve added significantly since then)  to include entire support elements of female troops.  I was a well known man-whore.  Complete Moving Hormone… the perfect dude… fuck friend before the “friends with benefits” even was going on… Got to the point that when I got engaged to the XBitcho, the C.O. came over to ask me about the “copious numbers of broads that kept coming ’round the way in the barracks.” 
CO: “I thought you were engaged!”
Me: “I am sir”
CO: “Then what the fuck is up wit’ all the broads coming around looking for you?” (he was a New Yawker, God Bless ‘im)
Me: “Well sir, I ain’t married –yet-.”
CO: >shakes head< “Jesus, don’t get fuckin’ caught!”

I rather enjoyed him as a CO… pretty decent doobie all around… knew when to bust ass and when to bust balls… WAAAAAY better than the fucktard who replaced him.  THAT fuckin’ turd-burglar got relieved for cause two months into his slot… mainly because the senior NCOs and Junior EMs were gonna have him have an ‘accident’ at our next live fire… they came up with some shit to relieve him… I didn’t give a shit… here one day pissing us off, next day, the First Shirt comes out to first formation  bellowing “Free at last, Free at last, Thank Gaaaawd Almighty we are free. at. last.!!!!” (1Sgt B was a Black Man of Some Humor/Repute.  We fucking loved him.).   Seems that he’d just gotten word that Captain Fuckface was on his way out, and that the XO (cool as fuck too mind you) would be running the show f until further notice.

Joyous Pandemonium and Loss of Military Bearing was the way to describe THAT fuckin formation LOL.

So, lessee, OH… yeah Desert.  Went to Culvers.  Hadda “Concrete” which is this thick assed ice cream they serve, mixed with candy.  A great ender to the date, ‘cept I -did- stop off and pick up a long ago ordered item at Bass Pro. 

I’ve found the -best way- to get me the powder I want is to order it online, but have it delivered locally.  That way I get out from paying the hazmat frieght of anywhere from 20 to 50 bux, depending on the website.  I pay a bit more for the powder at Bass Pro, but the convenience isa waaay good.  Although this particular powder apparently has been back ordered like a motherfucker… so long I forgot I bought it.  The email came in while we we getting ready to go, so it was a natural to be like “Hey baby, gotta stop and pick up?  You good?”  “I’ll wait in the car.”  God I love that woman LOL…

So anywho, more later as we roll.  I remain the Intrepid Reporter
Big Country

By BigCountryExpat

Fuck you if you can't take a joke. No one gets out alive so eat me.

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