Go Navy!

Greetings Me Droogs n Droogettes!

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water….

Apparently the Navy, in it’s infinite quest to make the most outrageous go-overboard (heh) ‘progress’ in racial and intersectional equality, it’s proposed to institute a new “pledge” for all sailors in the Navy to take… another oath of loyalty if you will. It is as follows:

“I pledge to advocate for and acknowledge all lived experiences and intersectional identities of every Sailor in the Navy,” the proposed pledge reads. “I pledge to engage in ongoing self-reflection, education and knowledge sharing to better myself and my communities. I pledge to be an example in establishing healthy, inclusive and team-oriented environments. I pledge to constructively share all experiences and information gained from activities above to inform the development of Navywide reforms.”

The link goes to the actual ‘what. the. fuck.’ PDF report that makes the suggestion.

Matt Bracken put it up on Gab.  I feel for the guy, really I do.  He’s a squid, and watching what’s happening to the Navy is like watching a very good friend slowly be killed by a disease.  In this case, it’s the Pozz killing the Navy… far worse than the Marines and Army…  I’d say that in rankings of DotMil pozzing insanity, Navy leads, with Air Force running a close second, with Army and Marines in a slow tail end charlie position(s).  They’re not fucking with the Marines too much, probably afraid that Chesty Puller and R Lee Ermey would go zombie and start killing and eating motherfuckers.

Of course the Navy leads the pack though.

I mean no shit, On Guantanamo Bay, the whoooole island is overrun with giant assed Iguanas.  NOT your miami mini-iguanas, but big 4 to 5 foot long 40 pound attitudinal Iggys as we called ’em. 

Motherfucking hissing pissed off bastards…  Only place in the world where I -actually- saw a sign that said 

“DO NOT MOLEST THE IGUANAS”

Navy amiright?

If it was a sign on an airbase, it’d say “Do not make the Iguanas into pets” and an Army base, it would say “Do not run over the iguanas” and Marines? Of course “Do not eat the iguanas, they do not taste like chikin or crayons”

But yeah, only the Navy could go so far so fast.  Typical overreaction.  Just like Tailhook.  Bunch of split-tails go to what is known as an out-of-control frat-party pussyfest for pilots, and get all butthurt and destroyed careers over it.

Thing is, and I’ve been getting emails about it is the ‘regular’ troops are getting pretty damned sick and tired of it.  One email confirmed some ‘stuff’ about the DC Debacle.  Apparently Frau Oberpoopenfuher Pelosi desperately wanted crew served weapons, to whit the Guard said to the effect “Whaddya, some kinda nut!?!” and denied it.  Then they pulled the ammo from the troops (what little that was issued) and apparently, some of the Lower ranks occifers (there are some good ‘uns out there) busted out their ‘personal stash’ o’beebees and handed ’em out.  Now if’n you’ve even been in DC, at night strange things come out.  Lotsa bad things happen.  And Guard doodz and doodettes with unloaded weapons?  Yeah.  Prime targets for mugging.  I’ve been over that previously.  So, Word got around and apparently there were a few armed standoff, which is what triggered the whole “loyalty” thing.

And that pissed off EVERYBODY.

And now?  Maaan  When it kicks it’s going to be funny as fuck all.

Because ALL the Senior Officers know that they’re completely fucked

The lower ranks are pretty much going to keep on keepin’ on, until -something- of fuckery comes down the chain-of-command, at which point it’ll get to “Ludicrous Speed!!!” right then n’there

General: “Men, we’re going out to collect weapons that pResident Biden just outlawed by way of an E.O., get the men ready”

Colonel: “Uhhhh sir, are you trying to get us all kill’t?”

General: “You will follow my and the Commander-in-Chief’s orders Coronel”

Colonel: “Later y’all, I’ma outtie like a belly button! (hands in resignation)”

Meanwhile, down in ‘the ranks’


Captain: “We’ve got orders to go out and forcibly collect civilian arms and weapons men… I know you don’t like the order, but orders are orders.”

Platoon Sgt: “Sir, respectively speaking sir, but you got 15 rounds for that there bear-retta, and me and the troops got 30 rounds in -each– of our rifles… dunno ’bout choo sir, but me?  As a Christian man, I ain’t one fer bettin’ but it’s sure a shit gonna be a bad day fer you n’the other occifers if’n y’all persist in being a dumbass.”

Captain: “Right, Platoon Sergeants, send the men to the motor pool and tell ’em to sweep the line again… getting a bit dirty down there and we can’t have a dirty motor pool now can we?”

Plt Sgt: “Roger that sir, cleanliness is next to Godliness sir.”

Yeah… they’ll ignore the more and more insane orders until –someone– grows a set and decides to overthrow this shitfestivus. Or not?  Who can tell?  Right now, people just seem to be coasting.  The “ain’t my circus, ain’t my monkeys” is sort of my point of view right now.  Until something personal comes up on the radar, then fuck it.

I mean realistically what we’re in for, (for now and I hope it stays this way) is Obamanation Part 2.  Meaning higher taxes, higher gas prices, higher everything.  Until -something- goes completely and utterly sideways for “Boobus Americanus”, shit’ll just keep being shitty.  I mean they know that we know.  Until people get hungry shit ain’t gonna change.  Revolutions are started by Empty Ricebowls, not public corruption.

Do I really give a fuck if Slo Joe is on the take?  Not really.  Stay on your side of the fence and out of my lane, and we’re good.  I have very few lines that’ll cross me into taking action.  That being said IF said-lines are crossed, then well, nice knowing ya.  It’s been fun.

So, More Later I Remain The Intrepid Reporter

Big Country

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By BigCountryExpat

Fuck you if you can't take a joke. No one gets out alive so eat me.

6 comments

  1. Roight!
    Look smart now! RAMMING SPEED ! Preparest thine anus.
    (flying monkey wrench) Sorry sir! the engine just disintegrated!
    What was that sir ? too much static, negative copy….
    Ship ? what ship ? BUICK !

    and the ants go marching down….in the ground…..to get out of the rain…..boom, boom, boom.

  2. He ain’t kidding about the Iguanas in GTMO. I don’t know if it was this way when you were there, but as recent as 2019 if you got caught running one over accidentally (or killing one on purpose) it was a $10,000.00 fine. Every DFAC has at least one HUGE big as my thigh Iguana if not six….We got problems folks…And it ain’t Iguanas….

  3. Yeah, I’m a recently retired squid and none to happy with this tripe. It was going that way and I would have been forced out over my rebel flag tattoo in short order if’n my time hadn’t been up already.
    It’s a different navy. When I joined it was illegal for a guy to smoke a pole. Then it became optional. I retired before it became mandatory.

  4. “Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical liberal minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.”

  5. I don’t understand why you guys had such issues with the iguanas. I worked on leeward at the fuel farm 92-94 and we had a really chill guy that lived under the diesel topoff pump house. I’d go down and fill the truck and he’d cruise out of his burrow, do about three of the head shakes with me. I’d clean the spines and hairs off of a prickly pear and he’d come over and chow. This guy would let you pet him as long as you didn’t move too quick. Hell, he even had his own pet fly that rode around on the top of his head and drank from his eyes.
    Down at Kittery Beach there were a couple of different iguanas that would come to the pavilions and eat potato chips and ice cubes, too.

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