Grumble Grumble…

Greetings Me Droogs N Droogettes!

How is it a bitch can lose a TV remote control?
I mean Sweet Baby Jesus.
I went to bed at 0200 last night, quite boogered.  TV was already off.  Now?  The TV Amazon Fire Stick Remote is completely M to the I to the A.


Thing has/had? a Bright Fucking Blue protective case on it.  we literally shredded the room looking for this fucker.  
No Dice.
>Deep Sigh<
Just about the only spot I haven’t check is ye olde Lovely Wifey’s Anal Cavity.  And she ain’t in the mood, and I don’t have enough Godiva Liqueur on hand to get her in the mood necessarily.
Jes Sayin’.
Soooo… seeings this’s Wifey’s Bedroom TV, where she assiduously avoids me ‘n Sapper’s nightly Star Trek Binge.  We got a TV station down here that plays, in order, and in proper order for the series:
Star Trek The Original Series
Star Trek Next Generation
Star Trek Deep Space Nine
Star Trek Voyager
Star Trek Enterprise
Be still this Trekkie’s Blackened lump of what was once a heart.

On proper rotation no less. 5 Nights a week. Only thing is, and why I’m here right now at 20:47 hours is that T.O.S. Trek, well, only 3 seasons, and -some- of the episodes, well, despite their best efforts, they just flat the fuck outright suck. Tonight’s being case in point… I can’t stand that “Miri” bitch and who gives a fuck if Mayberry has gone totally apocalyptic? Geek Points: The city that “Miri” takes place in… the episode for y’all who don’t remember, the Enterprise discovers an exact duplicate of Earth, where the only survivors of a deadly man-made plague are some of the planet’s children.  It takes place in a totally fucked up cityscape…

Which juuuust so happens to be the same set that Downtown Mayberry from “The Andy Griffith Show” was in.  Kinda cool eh?  So yeah, piss on that particular episode.  Goes for all of them really… good ‘uns, bad ‘uns… the baddies?  I’ll fucking write and bitch atchall about me Wifey’s propensity to piss me the fuck off by losing the ‘mote aye?
Otherwise, I ordered the new ‘mote, which mean, sure as the sun will rise tomorrow, the old one will make a ‘miraculous reappearance’ as soon as the new one gets here.  I also explained to Wifey that no matter what the remote will, and forevermore, have a 550 cord ‘dummy’ cord attached to it.  No ifs, bitches, ands, ors about it.
She, of course, failed to see the humor in it.  I told her she should be thankful that I’m not Sgt. Whatizname.  HE was an asshole.  We hadda kid, new Private… forgot his weapon not once, not TWICE, but THREE TIMES… the last time it was found by the Brigade SMAJ, leaning against a tree in the Alpha-Alpha… so Sgt. Whatizname went to the motor hole, and got some link, chain, heavy, tow-capable, and linked almost 30 pounds of chain to the kid’s LBE and weapon.  OOF!!!
Point Made.
So… Next Generation is on… More Later I Remain The Intrepid Reporter
Big Country

By BigCountryExpat

Fuck you if you can't take a joke. No one gets out alive so eat me.


  1. Sounds like H&I tv. One of my favorite channels. Weekday mornings I can watch my old Westerns. "Wanted Dead Or Alive", "Have Gun, Will Travel", and "Rawhide". Hey, don't judge me, I'm an old, old dude. I still have my 1960 vintage Paladin lunch box from first grade. Then Saturday nights I get to watch "Black Sheep Squadron", "Tour Of Duty", "Combat", "Rat Patrol" and "12 O'Clock High"……….

  2. Welcome to the adult phenomena of the roving black hole. These RBH's waste more time for adults than anything but children who are I believe the causes of them. It makes you wonder if RBH's would exist if you did not have children…….I digress, I have spent literally hours if not days looking for something I knew I had but could not remember where I put it.

    There is another possible explanation for how the remote got lost.

    Wifey has CRS…Can't Remember Shit. Another is OFD. Old Fart's Disease. Both are age related and can be interpreted as being hugely insulting if you make the mistake of telling your spouse they might have one of these.

    Lot's of luck and do enjoy the second remote when it re-appears.

  3. I used to have a thing on my keychain that would chirp when you whistle, that way if you can't find your keys, you just whistle and listen for the chirp. They should build that into the remote control.

  4. I lost a Leatherman. had it, didn't have it

    5 years later I went for a cup of coffee. get back to the living room, there it is in the middle of the floor, with a thick coat of dust

    later on I heard it fall off my bed, and I know I would never see it again. it's been 4 years now.

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