Humorous Story From Christmas

Greetings Me Droogs and Droogettes!

Forgot to pass along a story from Christmas. 
Spawn and his woman  were over on the Eve.  We had a great time to say the least
Lotsa fun and drinks to be had
And we had ’em all.
So… we’re sitting around, and Spawn’s woman, Shorty is what I call her.  She’s been with him as a friend since she was 7 and he was 10… they were in 4H together with XBitcho, and then, sometime around when she was 17, looked at Spawn and was like “He’s going places” and jumped on board.  Great times.  I call she shorty b/c she IS a shorty.  Lil Teeny Girl.  Like a daughter to me actually.  Love her to death.
So, Shorty starts talking to me and Wifey, and tell me and her the weirdest thing about living with Spawn is his reaction to ‘bumps in the night’
“So, first night in the new apartment, there was a -thud- and before I know it, he’s got his .45 in his hand, tells me to stay put while “he checks it out”, and then he goes out, crouching and sweeps the whoooole apartment.  He even checked the closets!  Isn’t that strange?  And who keeps a .45 between the mattress and box spring?”
Wifey just got that look on her face as to say “Are you fucking kidding me?”
She just lifted her hand at me…
Where I was barely keeping it together.  I was literally about to bust a gut.
She looked at me, then suddenly realized and was like 
“Oh…. yeah… riiiiiight.”
I looked at her, and said “I am so proud of that boy right now!”
Good Times, Good Times.
So, More Later I Remain The Intrepid Reporter
Big Country

By BigCountryExpat

Fuck you if you can't take a joke. No one gets out alive so eat me.


    1. 9mm, nightstand. (for singular visitors)
      Uzi, Wifey's bureau. (for multiple visitors that need -rapid- attention)
      M-4 with "Flare Launcher" and 40 round Mag loaded with 64 grain APT rounds, next to bed. (for uparmored visitors)
      Tacticool SemiAuto Shotty, next to the M4, because why the hell not? (for survivors)

    2. Glock 41 in the nightstand, Tavor under the bed; 1 mag in the well, 6 more in a chest rig.
      I figure that would get me to the shotgun in the next room, if I needed it…

  1. I live in the burbs and a pack of coyotes were in my back yard a couple months ago scared my wife and daughter to death so she got me up and I grabbed the shotty dressed only in my skivvies and went out back before i realized probably wouldn't be a good idea to let loose a tube in the neighborhood, plus my neighbor came and saw me the next day and told me she has cameras outside her house and she laughed her ass off.

Leave a Reply to Scott Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published.