In The Ghetto….

Greetings Me Droogs N Droogettes!
Rule One of Hotels:  The pictures on their website?  They Lie.
I’m done with day one and Glorious New Tractor Factory job.  Spent the majority of the day being afflicted with HR paperwork.  Like 3 hours… the HR woman was really nice… even borderline based believe it or not.  Nonetheless, the interminable paperwork…. Oi… talk about worn out.

At least with this gig the guy who’s in charge of IT has at least half a brain.  All my accounts were set up and operational!  Huzzah Aye?  Nice to work with fellow professionals.  Last outfit I was with could take lessons from these guys.  Fuckin’ nice to see good people doing the fookin’ job right the first time around.

So, the title of ye olde bloggage tonight?

Maaaaaaaaaaan… and here I left the AR shorty at home, and I only have 4 mags for the S&W.  You -know- that when in the lobby of said-flophouse has a bulletproof barrier between you and the Prajeep in the front office/cell, and a BIG sign on the wall prominently proclaims how “Human Trafficking and/or Prostitution on the premises will result in eviction with no refunds!”….

Telling ya… classy joint I picked out Aye?
Truthfully it was the affordable option.
And the few ‘other’ residents?
Oh yeah… Hos… no fucking doubt.  I’d say they’re the low-end hourly types… Me?  I’m locked in, barred sealed and ain’t opening the door for nuthin’.  

In fact any hostile intent will be dealt with harshly.
As in a Mag Dump thru the door.
I ain’t fuckin’ around.
So, this’s a nice break though.  I haven’t been able to reach out to any of y’all here in the A.O. -yet- as I’m A) Busy AF and B) Tired AF.  The 0400 wakeup was a stone bitch.  Even worse?  I get everything up and packed, ready to rock, freshly shaved, cleaned up, and I get behind the wheel of the Putt-Putt with a brand new battery mind you, and turn the key… all the bingo lights go on, radio turns on and >clunk< 

What. The. Fuck.

So… Momentary Panic Moment.  I’m in my wedding suit (ain’t worn it since me and Wifey got hitched) and decked out to impress and Oh fuck me running.  I raced inside and start kicking Sapper out of the bunk “Dude GTFU!!!! I need a jump pronto!!!!”  Seems we dropped below 40 degrees in Tampa last night, so yeah, that might be the cause… we’ll see tomorrow if something goes funky or not.  I made sure to turn off like -everything- that -might- have a drain on the battery, but even then, that shouldn’t’ve happened.  We’ll see.  Sapper saved my ass despite being in Zombie Mode.  I got on the road and everything -seems- copacetic.

If it ain’t in the A.M, well, I’ll just have to figger dat shytte out as I go.
Least tomorrow me supervisor told me to go casual, so a much more mellow dress code is less hassle.
So, More Later, I’m off to the bunk Early-Early
I Remain The Intrepid Reporter
Big Country

By BigCountryExpat

Fuck you if you can't take a joke. No one gets out alive so eat me.


  1. Sounds like the night I spent at some no name motel in Fresno. I knew i had made a poor choice when the gal behind the counter asked if I needed the room “for the whoooole night?” 30 minutes later there’s some deal going down right in front of my door. Fuck Fresno.

    1. Hmmm 40 should be a cake walk for a new battery, unless they sell super low CCA batteries down there in the tropics…. Up here just south of Canada, 40 is t-shirt weather. Check the cables are tight and clean. Belt is tight too. If the battery was brand new, and wasn’t fully charged, your drive to the new emp should have topped it off. One doesn’t truly appreciate 40 above until 40 below has been experienced!

  2. New bat probably did well coming up to 14.5-15 v on I-75 for a while after a morning discharge. Coming into the car from the auto parts stores they are oftentimes sulfated on the plates from just sitting around but show good resting voltage…no initial capacity tho. Gotta work em a few cycles. It will be warmer tonight. Cross those fingers…

    1. That’s really sound advice, Russell. I second that. If it doesn’t work? We’ll all spring for BCE to get an Optima batt.

  3. I’ve done my time in dive motels. Many nights sleeping with a pistol in my hand. Never had a bit of trouble staying in one, though. Well, there was this one hooker one evening….but that was resolved without incident.
    I stayed in one in Inglewood, California for a week – was the only White man in the city, as far as I could tell. They had to buzz me into the parking lot, it was so bad. I walked to the classes I was taking at an industrial park and ate at a nearby diner. No hassles. I think sometimes we are our own worst enemy. On the other hand, the moment you let your guard down – WHAM! You become another statistic.

    With God as my witness, I will never stay at another hotel/motel where the lobby smells like curry.

  4. One of my trips to Guam we got staked in some shithole outside of Tumon bay, Tumon in the resort area, chock with “massage parlors” staffed by imported asians minus their passports, and raunchy strip clubs with russian coke heads. great place, good restaurants, just dont knife anyone and cops look the other way. Well, we usually stay at the marriott, or hilton in Tumon, some fucking convention was in town, plus it was japanese tourist season, the poor japanese go to guam, the rich go to hawaii, so there were no rooms for us govie contractors. We get into our digs, man fucking total shithole, but do what you gotta, so after almost literally a whole day of flying me and a buddy get some drinks at the sort of beach bar. Met this chic, not bad looking says shes with the merchant marines. big red flag, more like merchant pirates, but hey traveling you meet all types. So me and a buddy are there for about an hour, chatting with this bitch and i realize, I’m getting f’d up. What two beers? How? I told my buddy hey im heading up to my room, catch you later. Two mins later by the time i put my key in the door, i could barely walk, everything is spinning. I got in the room threw all the furniture i could against the door, thinking someone’s gonna roll me, forced myself to vomit, then grabbed my cold steel tanto fixed blade and then passed out on the floor. Woke up like 18 hours later, called some folks and said get us the fuck out of here like now, place isnt safe. Yep, bitch dosed my drink with something, and my buddy woke up in the lobby of some apartment building, with his wife calling asking where he is, and why he took out a bunch of money from different ATMs. stateside, if I see a haji, punjabi, paki, or hindu I aint staying in that fucking place. They are filthy people, dont clean shit, dont fix shit. I’ll spend the extra bux and find a holiday inn express, double-tree, marriott. I used to travel with door jam alarms, motion sensors, always a large fixed blade, didnt give a fuck what country I was going into, 100′ of 5.5 mm spectra cord rope and a repelling carabiner in case i gots to bail out the window. I always had a hard locked case for all electronics and papers receipts, tickets, etc… never threw anything away with any info on it, dudes that didnt practice being sterile had their cc cards and identities stolen regularly.

  5. I guess I’m lucky the worst I had was a Autostrade motel in northern Italy, but the sounds of banging couples all night long meant that sleep was out of the question. No need for a weapon, though.

  6. 4 mags and one in the gun should be enough for a ‘hood situation. Doubt the denizens want a fight with a professional. I’d be more worried about hitch hikers. Been in a few places where, just as sleep was coming, had something run across my face…

    Last place in DC I lived in, after I left, I left my stuff in the distant back of my folks’ yard till after first frost. Found dead roaches in the motor of my tablesaw…

  7. BCE, you probably know this but you might want to stop at a commercial laundry and throw all the clothes in a dryer for a really hot spin. Also leave the suitcase out in the backyard for a week or so. Tag-a-long critters are the worst. I use a fabric level permethrin spray as a first level defense but still nuke everything.


  8. I’m no expert – but the battery could have been sitting in inventory somewhere for a while then put on the retail shelf and needs a long drive to get in shape. Short trips don’t always do the trick. Remember … alarm systems etc. are always using juice. Granted – it’s a trickle but gotta get the cells fully charged by running the vehicle.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *