Jeebus… Morning Ds and D-ettes…


OMFG… its 0400… I woke up at 0330… Bad dream that I can’t remember WTF it was… Fucking hate PTSD… –Truly- the gift that keeps on giving.  The worst part is not remembering just what the fuck the scene was that was running through my diseased cranium… the Operating System seems to ‘dump/crash’ whatever it was that’s fucking with me… which makes it hard to address… but enough of my snivvel… no need for a raincoat.  I got coffee on, and bile to spare.  So onward and downward, whichever the case may be.

So, yeah…  got a few projects on the line.  I’ll be sharing with you here.  Specifically some ‘helpful home defense’ sort of stuff…

I mean I –did- show y’all how to build a motherfucking Flammenwerfer amiright?

See, a lot of the projects I get working on, shit… lets do it this way.  Part of the reason I have trouble sleeping is my brain doesn’t shut off unless it gets an ‘outside assist.’  The OS is overclocked like a motherfucker.  Think Duo Core overdone to “Crazy”… yeah yeah… that’s more than a lot of y’all non-geeks unnastand, but hey, think “Brain runs like a Rabid Chipmunk on Meth.”

It doesn’t stop.  Quiet doesn’t exist.  Only time I can sleep w/out meds is if I’m –completely and utterly- relaxed.  The only times that happens is usually after getting laid.   I know… TMI but it’s the truth.

So my p-shrink and I over the past few years have a few exercises that I can mentally run through to help get me to crash.  And one of them, as seriously fucked up as it sounds, is coming up with new weapons, booby traps, and other such mayhem inspired thought processes.  The Doc told me that, for a special someone like me, he considers it ‘normal’ (for the values that normal are that is, in regards to a fuckin nutjob like me).  Apparently because of my line of work for the thirty or so years of learning to do dastardly deeds to eeeeeeeeeeee-vil people, it relaxes me to come up with creative ways to inflict bad ju-ju on them.

It also gets me in trouble.  Let me tell ya, during my divorce, when the fuzz confiscated ALL my firepower, the highly illegal weapons didn’t bother them… nonono… I in fact didn’t get hammered for making some shit that normally would have garnered me a Federal rap… “fruit of the poisoned tree” as my lawyer told me (Thank fucking GOD for a great (((lawyer)))… they do have SOME uses)… but I digress per usual… what the point is that the Flammenwerfer really “put the weird on them.”  Apparently the whole “death by screaming as the skin cooks off” really  bothered them.  Keep it in mind for the Big Igloo may cometh soonerth than laterth.

OK: So to try and rest my nugget, I started questioning myself “what do you need to really reinforce the front door to repel boarders?”  Seeings I have the steel reinforced door, the door bar, and a anti-kick device…  In my mind, I want something more…


LEGAL DISCLAIMER: Do NOT try this at Home. Do NOT build a explosive device if you are a fucking moron with delusions of being a handyman. Do not use to annoy the neighbors. The author is strictly relaying humorous and theoretical anecdotes so please don’t blame me if you F.A.A.F.O. DO NOT BUILD PERIOD AS THE B.A.T.F. FROWNS ON THIS SORT OF ACTIVITY.  You fuckers (yeah I’m talking to you, US gubmint) got no sense of humor and y’all can suck my dick and hiccup.

Now, with that outta the way, my ‘half-asleep dream state’ thoughts and processes…  Couple of deep, cleansing breaths and I start falling into a ‘zen’ mode… and my thoughts turn to kinetic offensive defense.  As in “The best defense is an overwhelming offense.”  And if someone shows up at the front door with ill intentions, well lets just say I’m all about making it exceptionally ugly for them.

Personally, I fucking love the M18A1 Claymore Landmine. Fucking three and a half pounds of exceptional statically-placed “fuck you”. I got to play w/a few of them waaaay back in the day, but not so much recently. The impressive thing is the simplicity of it. From the International Anti-Mine website: “The M18 Claymore, a directional fragmentation mine, is 8-1/2 inches long, 1-3/8 inches wide, 3-1/4 inches high, and weighs 3-1/2 pounds. The mine contains 700 steel spheres (10.5 grains) and 1-1/2 pound layer of composition C-4 explosive and is initiated by a No. 2 electric blasting cap. The M18 command-detonated mine may be employed with obstacles or on the approaches, forward edges, flanks and rear edges of protective minefields as close-in protection against a dismounted Infantry attack.”

Problem is, it’s not very viable… so I’m still working out the kinks so to speak. I have ideas, but my lawyer’d shit a pile of rabbit pellets a mile high if I go into detail…

Lets just say that the following -might- be interesting if put together correctly:
12 inch long 4in x 4in x 1/4in A-36 Angle Iron
8 inch long 3 in. x 24 in. PVC Sch. 40 Pipe
2 X 3in End Caps
Various Nuts N Bolts
And go from there.

The things I have running around in my nugget man…  Fuck.  And it only helps mellow me.

So, for front door defense, y’all should keep in mind that “Death From Above” is not just a term from the Airborne (although it IS true!).  Keep it in mind.  If you watch any episodes of COPS or any footage of home invasions, I noticed no one ever looks UP!  The bad guys, all hyped on adrenaline and bullshit, amping themselves for the ‘rush on the door’ invariably NEVER look up.  And yes, I’m equating a SWAT team raid on a house with a criminal home invasion.

Seeing SWAT Team raids gets me heated… IMO, the current police state (which is fuckin out of control like a motherfucker) should never be allowed to do the shit the fuckin Tardo Cops do.  I don’t give a flying fuck if they might flush the evidence (drugs should be fully legalized IMO) nor do I give a fuck about “Officer Safety”.  If yer  that much of a fucking coward, then don’t join the cops!!!!  No one ever asked me when I was in the Army if I was worried about my safety when my boss, a great E-6 BTW, put my ass on point.  Point men get shot first.  Unless they’re good…  I was OK, that’s why I pulled point a lot…and the Cops who say “Well I’m not in the Army!” I say thusly: THEN STOP ACTING LIKE YOU ARE!

To all the Fuzz and Swine out there in Blogworld:
You ARE NOT ‘Operators’.  Stop wearing tacticool shit and carrying M-4s.  You look like fucking tards.  Real operators laugh at you.  So do us grunts.

You ARE cowards.  You place the value of your own life over those you are supposed to protect.  The very opposite of military personnel.  I don’t give a fuck if you DID serve a term.  By becoming a cop, you have betrayed the original oath you swore to when you joined the military.  Fuck you.

You ARE the enforcers for the Elite.  You job is to protect the “chosen ones” from the unwashed rabble.  And on that note, don’t think the “Elites” won’t throw you under the bus in a microsecond… yer cannon fodder to them.  STUPID cannon fodder.

You ARE thieves.  Your job is to fund the State coffers by enforcing specious laws to insure your own positions.  Any cop who enforces civil forfeiture is no better than a scumbag thief.

You ARE, for the most part, small-minded, thuggish, intellectually challenged, immature bullies who should know better.

In Closing:
You should be ashamed.

Sorry… tangent again… I’m kind of heated, as I saw a bunch of unmasked swine yesterday hassling some people in a park.  All masked (the people, not the fuzz… nary a mask seen on the cops) from what I could tell… CoronaChan risk, low.  Like 4 people, ALL waaaaaaaaaaaaaay the fuck separated in the park, just chillin’…. like there was no reason I could see for them doing the shit they were doing.  Fuckin’ swine…

So anyways… Thats it for now, I’ma grab some more coffee, a danish and a shower.  I’ll write more later today.  Til then I’m the Intrepid Reporter
Big Country

By BigCountryExpat

Fuck you if you can't take a joke. No one gets out alive so eat me.


  1. I have had similar mind ramblings along the same vein.
    Just as a theoretical example, you know what an 'E Stop" is on equipment? Big red push button kill switch. Rig one of those to be hot instead of open when pushed, like a panic button. Hook to two electric solenoids closing off two pressurized canisters built in over the door frame with spray nozzles pointing out and down. One blasts baby oil in a mist, the other blasts baby powder. Non toxic but will blind anyone standing there if they come to knock the door down, even if they have face shield on.
    Now then, if you are really serious, substitute Flamenwaffer for baby oil canister….

    Ahh, the mental exersizes one can come up with eh?

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