Time to break shit…

Greetings and Salutations from Florida, the land of Shitty Drivers, Swamp Ass and the Infamous “Floridaman!”  Not much bangin’ ’round here on this Saturday afternoon.  Been trying to find a job and have a bunch of interviews coming up this week.  Yeah, the Olde I.R. has been down on his luck for like… oh fuck… like try since XHH6 had my ass slung in the pokey.

Yeah, it took me from mid-2016 til… well sheeeee-it.  Shit is STILL fucked up.
To recap, she had me thrown in the pokey for some shit that I would have never done.
I won’t go too deep into it but it was bad enough that the -only- option I had was to plead guilty and get bailed.  The Piece of Shit “Set-‘Em-Loose-Bruce”Judge at my arraignment wouldn’t consider bail unless I took the initial plea.

To give you an idea of just how corrupt and ass backward the “Just-us” system is:
The ‘dood’ being arraigned before me could euphemistically called a “Yute” and more than likely a member of BLM and spoke in ebonics for the time I heard him.  Gang tats… a real upstanding citizen.  When the prosecutor read his charge sheet… jeeeezuz… I didn’t think such folks could do so much shit in such a short amount of time.  Add on his ‘rap sheet’ if printed in scroll fashion woulda unrolled like a ‘Cheech and Chong Mighty Big Bambu Joint Wrapper.’  And the print on that fucker would have been in Font Size Two…..  The prosecutor made a very telling point that two of the victims couldn’t give statements yet as one was in intensive care, and the other in a medically           induced coma…  apparently Da Yute took offense to what these two Wypipo  said, and vented his frustrations with a claw hammer on their squashes.  Needless to say, I was curious to see how Judge Bruce was gonna handle this fucking savage.

“$1000 Bond, $100 cash.  Next Case!”

Uh… OK…  Next Case… Yers truly.
Prosecutor: “Family man, Veteran of war, 25 years service to the country, one speeding ticket in 30 years.  Solid dues paying citizen.  PTSD issues… needs help if anything….”

POS Judge: “$60,000.00 Bond, $30,000.00 cash.”

Even the prosecutor was shocked.

After some finagling the bail was dropped to where I wasn’t totally without hope, as I (foolishly/stupidly/retardedly) at the time fully expected despite all the shit that my beloved would come to my rescue.  Yeah.  I was a fucking moron.  Blue Pill much?  Not so much now.  Without going into too much, she had been plotting this for a while as far as I know.  So, I’m not going to go too far into it, but fuck that bitch.  As Forrest said “That’s all I got to say about that.”

Now to the crux of the story:  I surprisingly -didn’t- get fired from my boss job.  My immediate Manager (I was a supe under him) went to HR as soon as he found out what was up, and had HR launch an investigation to which the company found was, despite the charges (assault w/a deadly weapon, domestic violence) that there was -ZERO- history in my record, and they knew that my marriage was in trouble before this started.  My boss was pretty much convinced this was a divorce ploy (which was proven correct a day after I got back to work) when the bitch had the papers dropped on me.

So I kept the job with the Sword of Damocles hanging over me.  It was fun while it lasted, but then we lost the contract, the layoffs came and I was out of work until the legal “Just-us”system could get things unfucked and I could resume normal life.

‘Cept it aint worked out that way.  Seems I’m tainted.  Damaged Goods.  I’ve had one insanely shitty job that I was thrilled when I was able to tell my asshole boss there to pound sand… first time in my life I ever got fired, and I was thrilled.  The, after a few months of looking, I landed a great job as a “rent to own” bitch (i.e. Temp Agency… do 90 days and yer set.)  Things there I was diggin’… I really enjoyed the job… doing good stuff, still tangentially working with the Military through the VA.  Then back in July, we got an email on the first Tuesday of the month… think it was like 2 July… that there was an all-hands meeting at 10:30… OK.  No issue.  I had been doing great, my numbers were up, my performance above expected… Only 8 more days til my ‘rent-to-own’ was up.

Then H.R. showed up and started dropping boxes outside of people’s cubes.  THUD….THUD…

Yeah man… totally fucked up.  I’ve been in and around Professional Corporate America off and on when I wasn’t sneaking, peaking, shooting and looting…  I have NEVER seen a layoff on a Tuesday.  They let go 40 people, yours truly NOT included.  I made it a point to ask my boss (a ball busting female that I practically bowed and scraped before because thats what she expected of her male subordinate.  Fucking cunt….) I asked her where I stood?  She with a straight face told me “All is well… Remain calm.”

Yeah I’ve fucking heard that one before bitch.  I brushed up the resume instead of really working that day, as I -knew- in my heart of hearts she was lying.  The editor wants to know; “Hey Big Country, just how did you know she was lying?  Isn’t that a bit presumptuous?”

Well to the pencil pointing muzzie headed dork of an editor I say: “How did I know she was lying?  Simple stupid:  She’s female.  She lied BECAUSE she’s a woman!  ALL WOMEN LIE.  Especially in business…  any woman who makes it up the corporate ladder has made it by one of 3 ways:
1) On her knees or in the sack
2) Being an HR bitch/tattletale lawsuit bringer/extortionist
3) Being a -completely ruthless- lying cheating backstabbing cunt of the first order.”

See… the company was run completely by women… used to be VERY successful… like fortune 500.  Then the owner brought his wifely unit in as Chief Operations Officer and his daughter as a Chief Financial Officer… they used to own 4 huge buildings here on the Gulf Coast, but now?  One Building.  Total.  With only 500 employees left from 10,000.  The bitches ran the place completely into the crapper.  Last news I heard was they laid off even more, but I can neither confirm or deny.  I do know they needed me to stay that last eight days as the workload was stuuuuuuupid insane for the few remaining poor fucks left there….  I mean really?  You gonna shitcan people who’ve been loyal full timers, one an old lady who’d been there for 17 years and then hire my sorry ass 8 days after the fact?  Sheee-yah… pull the other nad… it plays “Go and Fuck Yourself” by Billy and the Boingers.

On day 90, the Temp Agency called before I split the crib for work, and said the Cunt had given me some bullshit review.  I told ’em it was bullshit as on the day of the layoff, I told them (the Temp Agency HR Sluts)  -exactly- what was shaking and how it was going to turn out, but that being said, estrogen is stronger than truth, so them delusional bitches at the Temp agency paid me off and faired me Adieu and don’t let the door hit you on the way out you Male Christian Cis-Het Patriarchal Monster!

So… Zoinks and Jinkies!  I’m and have been gainfully unemployed.  So beware… I am gonna monetize this bitch here at some point (ads and whatnot)  I’m also gonna post about a few other projects.  As the unemployment runs out, and the house slides closer to foreclosure, I’m planning on (barring gainful employment) on selling the crib, buying an RV and going walkabout as the Aboriginals in Oz say.  I should be able to do it, what with side gigs like a monetized blog and also the Comic book I collaborate with to write draw and publish (more on that later,) and a T-Shirt shop on Zazzle I’m in the process of setting up.  With that meager $$$ and my medical retirement from the Army, I should theoretically make it.

Besides… the road and more weirdness in the future awaits.
Stick around.  It’ll be fun.
The Intrepid Reporter
Big Country

By BigCountryExpat

Fuck you if you can't take a joke. No one gets out alive so eat me.

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