Something from the Past

Good Afternoon to all me Droogs n’ Droogettes outh there in Full Retard-o-land.  Big Country sitting back and eagerly awaiting the Sound of Musketry so’s I kin gimp my way to over yonder…  Gimp indeed seeings I’ve gained a shit-ton of weight lately.

Between the horror-daze and all the good food n ‘drink, I stopped both drinking AND smoking for the nonce.  Last for each was on 25 December after dinner.  Now to some of y’all that doesn’t sound too radical, but for me?  When the norm is 1/2 pack of Newports a day w/ at least 1/2 a handle or more of Vodka per day?
The expense was getting a bit much.  Moneys tight.  Still haven’t gotten a full time gig, and have been trying but OMFG… I –just- got a “Hey thanks for applying but get fucked” email right before I started typing… guess when I applied for that?
Fucking SEPTEMBER!!!!

First motherfucking week of motherfucking September.
At least these fuckaroos sent me a regrets letter.  I’ve applied to so many fucking companies that can’t even be bothered with that small amount of decency.
And corporations wonder why we’d love to burn them to the ground?
5 Fucking Months to pick a Stockroom Logistician?  Are you fucking kidding me?  Talk about ‘slo-rolling’ the hiring process to justify your lousy cunt-like Human Resources Acquisition Job.  If –I– were the manager of THAT particular goatfuck, I think I’d have to fire a bitch or 100. 
OK:  Enough of the rant.  Today’s a really good day.  My son and his GF showed up.  She we expected.  The Ole Lady was using her to try out some new hairstyles and Boys GF has great hair.  Dunno if I mentioned it but the Ole Lady is a nationally known hair-and-makeup artiste of some repute.
Boy came with her unexpectedly so I got to have some fun with him and showed him the intro to reloading 101.  God I love being able to do good ole Dad shit with him.  I’ve missed out on so much… but yeah, we were also going through some old pics and this one Popped Up:
Yeah.
Thats me in 2004 with Henry Motherfuckin Rollins in the DFAC on Camp Liberty.  To those who don’t know him, he’s considered “The Original American Punk” when punk rock was strictly a Brit thing.  Black Flag, The Rollins Band, The Spoken Word… man’s a motherfucking genius.

Funniest Part:  Deceased DocDad LOVED the picture.  He was a Rollins fan, up to and including his movies.  Strange having a father who’s 70+ years old at the time being a punk rock fan eh?  So anyways, I sent this pic to him and he was shocked… nay terminally shocked at how much bigger than Rollins I am.

See, in the movies n shit, Like “Bad Boys 2” and “Johnny Mnemonic” Henry comes off looking like a complete musclebound giant-asskicking gorilla… hell, his video below, (my fave song of his mind you) makes him look like a fucking rage-beast:

Hell, ‘Beavis and Butthead’ back in the day critiqued this vid… it was a fucking riot… Beavis kept screaming “Look at his neck!!! Look at his neck!!!”  Yep… sooooooo

DocDad was HIGHLY tickled that I outmassed Rollins like a motherfucker.  Truthfully Rollins himself was fucking impressed as fuck at my monstrosity.  We actually had lunch together… guys gotta be one of THE most intelligent motherfuckers drawing air…

So, DocDad who was still teaching at the University used the pic above as his desktop pic on his laptop.  Which invariably led to a couple of Insane Instances with his students…  b/c he used his laptop on a projector, while setting up his presentations, the pic would be on screen for a while.  One time the following conversation happened:

Student:  (amazed tone) “Hey Doctor Dad, isn’t that Henry Rollins on your desktop???”
Dr. Dad: (smugly) “Why yes, yes it is.”
Student: “Damn Doc, you dig Rollins?  That’s cool!  But hey.. who the hell is that in the picture with him?”
Dr. Dad (proudly) “Why, that’s my eldest son!”
(general murmur in classroom of disbelief)
Student: (disbelieving) “Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me Doc?  Henry Rollins is a fuckin’ MONSTER!!!!  He’s HUUUGE!!!  Is that really your son!!!???!!!”
Dr. Dad: “Yep.  His momma done fed him good.”
Student (still in awe) “Where was that picture taken?  What does your son do?  Is he in entertainment?”
Dr. Dad: “No, he’s not in entertainment.  He met Rollins on a U.S.O. tour… that picture was taken in Baghdad in Iraq.  (grins ferally) My boys a Mercenary over there killin’ motherfuckers and breaking shit…”
Student: “……..”
(quiet general exclamations of “Oh fuck!” and “Shit!” in classroom)
Dr. Dad: “OK… now everyone turn to page 235 in the book….”
(pages flip loudly as students collectively do EXACTLY as the Doc sez right fucking then and now with a quickness)

See, up til then, and the way things are now, a LOT of the supposed asshole students my Dad had were flat out fuckwits, retards and morons.  He was sick with the Cancer at the time and was still teaching knowing he was gonna cash in, knowing that if he died ‘on the clock’ so to speak that Mom would be better off financially… that and he got bored being in the house…  whelp, part of the problem was that his supposed students had a LOT of asshole attitudes who’d try and pull shit that if ‘back in the day’ some one would, do, they’d find themselves expelled… being loud, disrespectful… general assholery that seems to be coddled in this day and age.

After word got ’round that his son was a bloodthirsty baby-eating raping-and-pillaging Haj killin’ Blackwater mercenary, NO-ONE gave him any shit after that LOL.

So… more from the edge later.  I got an interview.  Pray for me and wish me luck.
I remain The Intrepid Reporter
Big Country

By BigCountryExpat

Fuck you if you can't take a joke. No one gets out alive so eat me.

1 comment

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *