The Heroin Diaries…

Evening Me Droogs and Droogettes
Yeah… I’m a fucking moron.  

Told y’all about my friend whose a Heroin Addict (recovering).  Well, she’s been homeless now for a few weeks… she had a place to stay, but that went sideways, and she showed up here a few days ago.  With her 9 year old daughter, and her 5 year old GranBebe.
Fuck. Me.
I have very few things I can say that touches ye olde blackened coal that resembles a heart, but I let her stay for a few days.

Wifey was/is pissed.

And now?  Jesus… I can’t get rid of her.  It’s always “How can you be so cruel?”

How can you be such a bad human to make so many bad decisions and lay that on me?

Ima hardening myself.  Have to.  Makes me a bad person? So be it.
Then she asked me for a weapon of all things.
Are you fucking kidding me?  “I need -something- to protect the kids!” was her line.  I’m like no fucking way.  A) Yer a convicted person… dunno if a felon or not but she did a LOT of time in county for drugs, and B) No way in FUCK am I giving up -any- of my shit.  I offered some bear mace.  That’s the extent I’m willing to go.  She got attitude with me… “It’ll be on you!” Well yeah, YOU pull the trigger on a weapon I give YOU and I’m the one going to jail!
Doesn’t help that the GranBebe she has is a half-breed niglet.  And afraid of Stella-Bella the doogie.  The most tame and laid back dog on the planet.  Wanted me to constantly lock up the dog in the cage when she wanted to eat. (and I acquiesced by locking her in the cage a couple of times) but oh hell no… that’s done.  This’s the DOGS house.  The half-breed is spoiled, not co-operative, and attitudinal.  Not my monkeys (literally!) Not my circus.  She also expected me to feed and water BOTH kids regularly… and when I did, both of the fucks were upset with the menu… Complaining about whats fed to them… I know kids are finicky, but God-fucking-damn!!!!

Are you kidding me?  yer lucky to have a roof over yer fucking head assholes.

Fucking fuck this fucking shit. 

I’m D.O.N.E.

With her and anything to do with her.  Fuck her.

They be gone tomorrow.  So much for that ‘friendship.’

Fuck it… with friends like that, who needs enemas?

God… forgive me but I officially reached the end of my Christian Charity level.  I’m done.
Til later, I Remain the Conflicted Intrepid Reporter
Big Guilty Ridden Country

By BigCountryExpat

Fuck you if you can't take a joke. No one gets out alive so eat me.


  1. People choose their roads, you have no responsibility for that. I don't see any reason you should be conflicted for helping these people, when they are not grateful or appreciative for you going out of your way to help. Having kids involved makes the decision more difficult, that's understandable, but you need to close the door on this. And make sure to inventory the house before they leave so nothing gets stolen.

  2. Users of drugs are also usually users of people. They know just how to get what they want. Count your valuables before she leaves. In her mind, you're the asshole, and deserve to be stolen from…

  3. hope your friend gets her shit together, yes. i have done the same. comes a time when you have to say no
    otherwise, they keep using you and fucking up your life. it is one thing to help. quite another for
    them to use you. which they always end up doing. the one good thing is, the quicker you start saying no
    to them, the faster they realize how fucked they are and hopefully try to better themselves.
    doesn't always work out though, one such person od last week. sad, but everyone tried to help her.

  4. True dat you have a big heart, perhaps too big. Sounds like this woman might have a touch of borderline personality disorder. Those folks are EXPERTS at manipulating the people around them. I have personal experience with this, it is not pretty and there is never a good outcome.

    Signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder may include:
    Impulsive and risky behavior, such as risky driving, unsafe love-making, gambling sprees, or illegal drug use
    Awareness of destructive behavior, including self-injury, while often feeling unable to change it
    Wide mood swings
    Short but intense episodes of anxiety or depression
    Inappropriate anger and antagonistic behavior, sometimes escalating into physical fights
    Difficulty controlling emotions or impulses
    Suicidal behavior
    Feeling misunderstood, neglected, alone, empty, or hopeless
    Fear of being alone
    Feelings of self-hate and/or self-loathing

  5. Don't take it so hard, you tried.. there's help out there for those in need. find her a few places that are designed to handle her predicament and give her the phone#/address..

    making it easy on her ain't solving her problem.. tough love bud..hope this puts you at ease a little

  6. Do not feel guilty.

    Until she hits rock bottom and decides she needs to change, she won't.

    As much as I generally despise Child Protective Services (since they seem to be a political weapon), this might be a case where calling them is a good thing.

  7. You need to take care of your wife and family. You need to NOT take in junkies, even junkies with spawn. Taking them in endangered your family, and it was exactly the wrong thing to do. Junkies are loyal only to their drug. That junkie will sell her spawn for drugs,and she'll sell you all even easier.

    So, you have run them off, you're back on the right track, congratulations, carry on.

  8. You know she will tell her drug dealers about your house and you will now be a target of the low life drug community. Then, when you defend your property you will be the one that needs a lawyer. Good luck man.

  9. I have found that helping someone like that is a mistake. They have resources available to them, either through the county or a church or some program. If she, the oldest, is unwilling to go to these resources it means she has probably abused the privilege more than once and is not welcome back or is not welcome without some mandatory intervention in her life which she refuses.

    I would add that your friend was a friend. If you know she is a recovering addict you also know that she is not the person you knew before. She is a person in a period of change as well as instability. She is not family and you need to draw the line someplace and that is a good start.

    The older I get the more essential rules I have adopted to help me avoid situations like this.

    I don't give help to people who by all rights should be able to help themselves. I would rather help a stranger than someone who I know is or was a drug user or a drunk. The first is an act of kindness with no strings. The second is an act that I will guarantee has strings that will become bindings of steel.

    You just found that out.

    I trust the love of a dog more than most people. I trust the judgement of my dog regarding people more than I do people's judgements of both others and dogs.

    Your dog just told you your 'friend' is not a good person and to add to this, your dog's reaction to her progeny is proof that there is something wrong there.

    Lastly, just because I have the time or the resources does not mean I have to do anything for someone else; Guilt caused or otherwise including old friendships.

    Friendships are not always permanent in fact they usually are rather short term and only while a commonality exists. Your 'friend' becoming an addict ended you friendship. They are not the same person anymore and a character flaw appeared that you need to be very wary of.

    This is true of all friendships past and present. When someone changes their 'lifestyle' and believe my drug use is a lifestyle, they are not the same person anymore. That person is no longer in control and the drug use and the antisocial behavior that comes with it is in charge and will be for a long time even after they get sober. Sobriety is not a turning point. It is a process of regrowing a former addict into an adult self reliant person. This takes a lot of time and brings with it a lot of change. Thus the person you knew is no longer there and may never be again.

    All of this is from my own experiences, getting my life together and dealing with others before, during and after.

  10. Nope. Not. Never. Don't feel bad about flushing that turf. You did more than enough letting her hide out at your place for a few days. She can get all of the help she needs from an organization equipped to deal with dope heads. As the reader above pointed out, your house is now on the radar of some worthless thief and expect someone to try and break in to snag your shit. Be wary.

  11. Christian Charity doesn't mean being a fucking idiot, contrary to popular belief.

    Glad you're kicking the bitch to the curb, along with the feral wolflets.

    Tried to do my in-laws a solid and take care of meth/crack/weed/heroin brother-in-law's children while he was detoxing for the umpteenth time. Fuck me with a rusty chainsaw, those were the two most lost-to-humanity wastes of flesh and bones I've been around all my life (and I worked in a mental prison so you can see my base for wastes of flesh is remarkably low.) Fuckit, never ever ever again.

  12. Like you said not your circus not your monkeys. I've had similar old friends in my life. All but two decided to unfuck themselves. They even learned a trade and stuck with it. As for the rest: The males are content being part time dishwashers/thieves/grifters. The females are content being baby mamas with druggie BFs living in shit box homes on axles or living with parents. I'm down to eight friends. Half are my age (two are old friends) and the other half are over 50. That's it. I don't keep female friends anymore because they usually ask for shit. My response was the usual better hit up your BF. Can't do it or he's a POS? Tough shit. Get a new one, and it won't be me.

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