Gooooood Morning to all of y’all still tuning in!
I greatly appreciate y’all and the following. Todays subject is “How do I fuck up a company so I -HAVE- to be hired?”
Well… I think at this point a bit of ‘playing back at them’ needs to be done.
Namely the next job I go to, I’m thinking about going in drag.
Now stay with me on this. Wretched? Yes. Gross? Hell Yes! Will it work? That remains to be seen.
The idea is it’s brilliant to a point. Apply, fill out the gender ID as “I do not choose to Identify” and show up looking FAAAAABULOUS!!!!
It could be done. NGFF is a makeup artist of some major repute… nationally known and pretty well known for advising wannabe Drag Queens on the how tos of makeup. If anyone could take this burly beast of a fat dude and make me look good, it’d be her. The only thing I have to do is find the balls to actually pull it off.
I mean really… think about the impact. Interview, nail the technical side, and then if they -don’t- hire me, initiate Lawfare. I mean hell… play the game on their terms and hold it to them… I mean I do wear a kilt on occasion… and my old boss would back me up in court if it went that far…
Yeah… I loves me a kilt. Very comfortable
And it establishes my wearing “non-standard items” in the office.
My reason for the kilt was two-fold actually. One was the main branch of our Corporate orifice got bought out, so’s the new guys took over and instituted Their rules for dress code. OK… thats normal… but they didn’t take anything into account the location (Southern Hotter’n Ballz Florida) and the work environment (read sweat shop). I.E. Supervisors and Managers will be in Business Casual (tie w/short sleeves allowed) to Business Formal (suit n tie). In Summer. In a sweat shop environment. Jeans Friday w/ Polos tho! Yay us. The bosses managed to get them get rid of the suit n tie requirements…. I mean Jesus… we’re in a CALL CENTER. No one sees us. I could see if we interacted with the customers… then fucking GREAT! No one wants to see call center mutants.
Takes me back… a quick aside. Worked in a Call Center back in the day… shared the office space with AOL… Yeah… that long ago… they had a kid who worked there… looked like a -More Goth- (if that’s even possible) version of Edward Scissorhands and Marilyn Manson… hell think of this kid as their love child. This kid had more piercings than … fuuuuck He looked like a tackle box had been used as an I.E.D… in his face…
So he and his ilk were known as “The AOL Mutants”… people who would, outside of a Hot Topic and Spencers… never have a job amongst the “straights”. However: Codicil to this: The kid had “The Voice.” A perfect sonorous voice that sounded like “Announcer Dude” from the movies… a gifted voice that was comforting and eloquent… The kids stats were off the fucking chart… Best of the Best… he thrived in a Call Center especially since he was scary enough looking that he was a living Cenobite I swear…
So yeah… since we weren’t being seen, hell why can’t we (like we used to) wear fucking shorts?
So… me being me… I did the ‘between the lines’ thing and started wearing kilts. It really bothered the Higher Higher and H.R. that I had short circuited their eeee-vil plans… Whenever the item came up, I’d warn ’em that that particular day I was gonna identify as a broad if they pushed it… which they did most certainly NOT want to push it. So I got to stay cool, (along with a number of my minions who started doing the same) and I got to be the bamboo shoot under H.R.s fingernails…
Any wonder why I’m having issues finding work Now?
The Intrepid Reporter