Tom and Other Memes

Greetings Me Droogs N Droogettes!
Gallbladder ish today… at the VA.  Gonna keep it quick, dirty and light, as I can’t really do a hell of a lot more.  Seems that I’m going to be going under the knife later this month if they have their way.  Me?  No thanks.  Been there too  many times and these days I don’t trust -anyone- outside of my P-Shrink medically speaking. 

Buncha fucking hoo-doo-voo-doo motherfuckers at this point.

Used to be you could trust a doctor.
That’s all for shytte now Aye?

So, for today’s fun, I ackshully found my collection of “Tom” memes.  Think I might have poasted a few of them from before, but these are some of my faves, with a few ‘others’ intermixed:

So, More Later I Remain The Intrepid Reporter
Big Country

By BigCountryExpat

Fuck you if you can't take a joke. No one gets out alive so eat me.


  1. Hey Bro,
    Had my gallbladder out in April. Very smooth, left me with what looks like pickaxe marks on my chest/stomach. Aches faded in a couple of days.
    Your gallbladder can go south and kill you in just a few days, and even quicker if you are diabetic. If the docs are worried then please get the surgery. It’s like getting on helo, you don’t have to know the crew or like them, you just trust them to do their job and get you there.
    Keep us up on circumstances. I’ll keep a good thought out for you

  2. What the cop said, X 1,000.

    Ride it out and come back all piss n vinegar again.

    Night Driver. who has found cutters to be mostly trustworthy.

  3. Find a good naturalpathic doctor, there are two effective non surgical therapies for gall stones, that usually work. Remember this is really a liver problem!

  4. The great thing about trying everything in the fucking book to avoid the knife is when you’re completely yellow and then one night fall on the floor thinking you’re having a massive heart attack. Then, you will definitely yield. The dude tells you he’s gonna do endo then you wake up with about 30 staples. Later, he tells you that’s the worst piece of offal he’s ever seen…and he worked his way through medical school in a meat packing house.

    But, afterwards you can raise your shirt and tell everyone you got that big ass scar from a knife fight on Martin Luther King, Blvd.

    1. About the same experience except a little more recent. About 15 years ago so it was the laparoscopic so almost no scars and was same day, out patient surgery. Factoring in age (~50 y/o), be back up to full speed in a few weeks tops.

  5. Mine went south in 2014. I had pains for almost a year until a very competent Nurse Practitioner in Brookings, OR did some blood tests. She called me a day later and had me get to a hospital. White stools and orange skin were the indicators. My dear spouse drove me through a driving rainstorm on mountain roads to Three Rivers Hospital in Grants Pass. They did the Lapro after they stabilized me. They treated me like royalty and saved my life.
    It’s easy-peasy, lemon squeezy. Get it done! You will be back to doing Jaeger shots and beer in no time. Bleib ubrig.

  6. You don’t want to get a stone lodged in the bile duct when the fit hits the shan. Get it taken care of now. Had mine done 35 years ago the old school way. You’ll be much happier once it’s out – you won’t miss it one bit.

  7. As mentioned above, gallbladder going septic is much harder to deal with and may very well be fatal. It also will – guaranteed – pick the most inopportune time and place to act up. If/when civilization stubs it’s toe, you want this over with. Had the hip done over last Thanksgiving and will probably have one of the knees done at Christmas, for just that reason.

  8. Dude. If a stone travels down your bile duct and gets stuck at the junction where your pancreatic duct joins in you’ll be dead in less than 24 hours. Your pancreas creates digestive fluids that are the equivalent of the Xenomorph Aliens blood from the Alien movie series. When a gall stone blocks that duct those bile and pancreatic fluids will begin what they call Autolysis. The fluid will start digesting the pancreas in 3-4 hours. At about 6 hours it will have eaten through your pancreas and spill into your abdominal cavity and start digesting your intestines and the connective tissue there that stores trillions of bacteria. At about 8 hours in you will begin to go into sepsis as the bacteria start multiplying and releasing endotoxins to digest you. Somewhere between 16-36 hours you’ll die of organ failure and septic shock. I’ve seen it happen to 2 people I knew personally.

    Oh, the whole first 6 hours you’ll be fully conscious and in exquisite agonal pain (that’s a fancy medical way of saying the maximum amount of pain you can feel) as your body literally tries to puke and shit your guts out non-stop. They’ll sedate you, paralyze, and incubate you. Your body will turn a disturbing yellowish green and start to swell up like a balloon. Then you usually die quickly.

    If God doesn’t like you, then all the extraordinary medical care and tanker truck loads of antibiotics actually work. Hopefully you didn’t aspirate to much puke and bile before they sedated you. If you did you will get aspiration induced pneumonia. You don’t even want to know the survival stats for this for comatose sepsis patients. It makes Ebola look like hay fever. You’ll still die but it’ll take a few weeks or months of being comatose while wired up to more tubes and wires than a moon rocket. Don’t worry though. They won’t forget to bill your estate for the medical bills.

    If by some miracle you survive all that and the 3rd leading cause of death (medical fucking incompetence) then you’re in for a real treat. When you are stable enough they’ll take out your gall bladder, bile duct, and hopefully not all of your partially digested pancreas and sew your shit back up. Then in a few more weeks you might actually get kicked outa the hospital.

    Think you’ll be right as rain now? Fuck no! You’re so fucking fucked you have no concept of just how deep and wide it is. Do you like diarrhea? Yeh, it’s your constant companion now. You’ll eat something or not eat something according to your daily routine and about 10-15 minutes later you’d better be on final approach to the porcelain throne. Get a small backpack and keep TP and a couple of changes of clothes in it. You’ll need it regularly. You no longer have a gall bladder to warehouse the bile your liver is making 24/7. It’s just sitting there draining into your intestines all the time. If you think you have to go it’s already to late. Go clean up and change.

    But wait! There’s so much more! It gets much much worse. Ya see your pancreas makes insulin like a finely tuned chemical factory. Unfortunately now it’s been reduced to a bombed out hovel run by a couple of drunken inbred Russians. You now have Type IIIC Diabetes. English translation: you’re fucked! Ya see that type which doctors are still debating about it’s very existence if they’re even knowledgeable about it. It is caused by a fucked up physically damaged pancreas. Quick question. What do you think the odds are of Dr. Dickhead who practices at the VA because he can’t afford malpractice insurance for private practice anymore knows about it or gives a shit? LOFL! This type of diabetes is a motherfucker to treat by someone (i.e. a board certified Endocrinologist) who has a clue. Wild swings in blood sugar levels are the new normal. The cherry on top is no one medication or cocktail of meds will work consistently to keep your blood sugar on the airport property much less on the runway. My step FIL is in the end stages of dealing with this now. He went from robust and healthy to a scarecrow with more medical conditions and a grocery sack of scripts that require a fucking NASA spreadsheet to calculate what, how much, and when to give him which drug. He’s lasted six years now. I wouldn’t bet on him lasting one more.

    Do not put that surgery off. Don’t be another dickhead that becomes a cautionary tale to others.

    You can try that naturopathic stuff if you want. If you start throwing up for more than 10 minutes you get your ass to a hospital most rikki-fucking-tick to get that shit cut out. Do not let them blow you off or whine about the surgeon is playing golf that day.

  9. pancreas is retroperitoneal … meaning it is behind the gut lining, and OVER / on top of the abdominal aorta … if the pancreatic duct gets obstructed by a downstream stone, you can erode the aorta via ‘autolysis, meaning you digest your own tissue, and that huge artery bleeds you out pronto

    you’ll be dead so fast you won’t know you departed

  10. If I was you, killer, I’d get er’ done, and the sooner the better. I’ve had to have several things done, and I can live a pretty much normal life. One of the best parts of my life now is that I don’t have to spend most of my day in the bathroom. I can drive and go places and plan things. Not the wild man I once was, but living and getting some work done. It’s a bitch having surgery, but dead ain’t a bitch. And don’t forget that the quality of your life is a lot more important than the length of it. When you are sick and miserable you’ll be lonely too. Nobody wants to spend very much of their time with a sick man. It reminds them too much of how vulnerable THEY are, and they got lives besides. I’ll pray for you.

  11. Odd reading this. I literally just brought the wife home from the hospital.
    She as been passin gall stones for 3 or 4 years now. Painful, but once passed it is like nothing ever happened. Been telling her for a year now to have the gb removed. She is surgery averse sooooooooo…..
    About 4 am weds morning after over 2 hours of serious pain I offered the option of getting in the car or me carrying her to the car. ER here we come.
    Tell then the symptoms, how long etc etc etc… ulltrasound and sure enough, gallstone stuck in the bile tube. Both gall bladder AND pancreas inflammed, swollen and extremely painful.
    7pm weds tube down the throat and the stone is removed
    7 am friday out comes the gall bladder
    noon today got her home


  12. Dude, just got mine out a couple of months ago after going the naturopathic thing for a couple of years. Finally broke me after a two days run of getting the living shit kicked out of me by the GB. Had no idea how shitty I’d been feeling until I quit feeling like that. Haven’t missed a beat since I laced up my Keds and blew the pop stand.

    You think I’m gonna miss the reindeer games over a couple of extraneous parts you done lost your damn mind. Get it out and get over it rikki tik.

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