Goooooooood Morning my Droogs! Seems we’re going to have to start doing a countdown to the Ultraviolence and be ready to kick off the Boogaloo. It’d be real horrorshow to say the least.
Well this mornings topic is fairly obvious.
I mean you’d need a FLAMETHROWER to burn that amount of cash.
Go Woke, Go Broke.
And whats absolutely hysterical the Hollyweasel Executives can’t understand is “Why doesn’t anyone like this? It trended well on Twitter and on Facebook! Teh Intarwebz seemed to greenlight this! Where did we go wrong?”
That right there. You nailed it on the head genius boi. Theres your problem right there. You relied on TWITTER. Heres a wakeup: Twitter. is. NOT. REAL. LIFE.
It is, for the most part a place that people who can NOT get validation in real life go to to ‘coattail’ on Celebutards and Politicians who hash out their lives for fun and profit. It allows the ‘dirt dwellers’ to feel valued, and in that the majority of losers who feel the need to get constant validation, by commenting on Kim Kardashian’s latest braindripping, they feel that they themselves are VIPs and IMPORTANT.
In real life? Not so fucking much. Add on that because the majority of unwashed unloved folks who DO surf on Twitter all day are, for the most part leaning democrat and social justice warriors. It means your audience is skewed like a motherfucker. These are, for the most part people who never leave the house in real life. They ‘glom on’ to the aforementioned people who -aktually- make monies on Twitter and get a shot of endorphins or serotonin or whateverthefuck these retards are hooked on by retweeting pithy fucktard hashtags #girlpower #dumbasses #dontknowwhentoquit These people don’t go the the fucking movies! And if they DID in fact go to the movies, there just are not enough of them to support a major motion picture.
So, to summarize:
1) Go on twitter/facebook/whateverthefuck social media site that “hot” at the moment
2) Look for whats trending #spraypaintedgayanuses or some other thing that would revolt ‘Normal Americans’
3) Find -someone- who knows about spray painting gay anuses. Have them churn out a script.
4) Hire a bunch of Leftist Hollyweird Headcase Actors/Actresses. Have them start tweeting about how awesome spray painted anuses are.
5) Shoot the film. Start a big build up. Lotsa froo-froo
6) Opening night: >Crickets< Not one ticket sells.
7) Begin Emergency Spin Machine. “Orange Man Bad”, “Misogyny”, “Fear of Spray Paint” whathaveyou.
Wash, Rinse, Repeat. As seen now in this past year alone (and this’s just a sampling) Men in Black International, Captain Marvel, Terminator Dark Fate, and now Charlies Angels.
ALL have crashed and burned spectacularly. All because of the “Bubble” that these fucking morons live in. I mean Holy Shit. Reality Check anyone? They ALL live in a cocoon of unreality. There’s a reason “The Joker” has made almost ONE BILLION DOLLARS.
But hey… fuckem. I love watching them implode. It’s going to be glorious when the burrito-orcs finally organize and decide to head out to reconquista Hollywood and Vine… All I can say is grab the popcorn… I’m looking forward to watching the Roof Koreans have at it again. Maybe this time someone will get some better quality video?
More Later. Time to re-initiate the job search.
Until then I’m the Intrepid Reporter